Who ever said life just isn’t fair must have lived my life before me. There I was, minding my own business. I had just gotten to work a few minutes late. Not late enough to be in trouble, but late enough for everyone to notice. I had just gotten Crystal, from next door to my apartment, to braid my hair. And not just regular cornrows, but them fancy designs that u see in the music videos. I was sure that this new look would help to raise my status of being a superhero. But I didn’t count on one thing. The day after Crystal braids your hair, your head is much too tender to fight crime.
So I'm in the office, folks telling me ‘nice hair-do, Leroy’ and I’m smiling and thanking them. Then I get a call from Terra, who tells me another giant robot is stomping through the city. I figure she know she can’t handle it cause all she does is make flowers grow. So, despite being late, I tell folks I’m headed to a meeting, and I change.
I fly to the scene of it all, and almost immediately I get slapped by a giant metal hand. GIVE ME A BREAK! My head had never been in so much pain. It was like each folicle was being yanked, all at once. If it weren't for the news cameras, I might have cried. You can’t touch a brother’s head after he just got it braided. I really don’t think you guys understand, I thought every strand of my hair was forcibly removed. Hell, I wished it were– to end the pain.
But, u know super heroes can’t let things like that stop them. And I want to let the people know that I ain’t no weakling. So, I suck it up and I give this robot the pounding of his life… well, programming. Do artificial life forms actually call it a life? Well it doesn’t matter now, cause whatever this one had was gone when I finished. The worst part about it all was the fact that I couldn’t stay and talk to the press. My eyes were finally tearing up from the pull on my scalp, and I didn’t want anyone to think the robot had bested me.
Therefore, I just want to go on record. The next time I get Crystal from next door to corn row my hair, I’m taking off from work the next day. I’ve never felt so tender headed in my life. I’ll be the first to tell you that.