Friday, June 27, 2008


For the last few days I tried reaching out to Brice. Terra believes we should all try to get along. So, I called him. The first time he picked up, he put me on hold. After about 5 minutes I hung up. The second time we spoke, Brice called to tell me the team was needed for an issue on the Red Line. I didn’t go. This guy can't call me back, so why care if he gets his face bashed in.

Of course, this incident made it to the news. It's like they only show up when I'm not there. I watched the live feed online. Just as I thought, they got their faces smashed.

Lady Face was in a frenzy. I'm not sure when they let her out, but clearly she needed a return visit with those padded walls. I watched as the reporter tried to keep up with the commentary. She narrated the event as if it were a pay per view battle royal. Between her coughing to clear the dust from her throat and the rattle from the bag of corn chips she started to consume, she pretty much covered it all. The biggest issue came when the reported tried to describe Lady Face. Even I know you can't describe a person who always changes. Her appearance, like her temper, is random.

With raw fighting ability, Lady Face first managed to best Craig. Perhaps by accident, but her spontaneous fighting style helped her to land Craig on the rails. Unfortunately, water and electricity do not mix. In a cloud of steam, Craig was gone. The last time that happened, it took weeks before the rain brought him back. Both Sha'Donna and Cheryl fell down in tears. Perhaps their hormones are already extra sensitive. They were no longer of use in that fight.

After the rustle of another back of chips – Funyuns this time – the reporter tried again to describe the changing appearance of Lady Face. She gave up, again, to commentate the next leg of the fight. Marci gracefully moved and glided from side to side, back and forth in the beginning. But then something happened that I had never seen before. Marci's face frowned and her eyes were on fire. Marci breathed harder, struck harder but sloppier. The quick strikes became heavy haymakers. Finally Marci stopped punching and just started cursing. I had never seen her so angry. Lady Face just laughed.

Marci closed her eyes and screamed. She didn't see Lady Face rip the door off the train. Now, there was only Brice. He stood in front of Lady Face and whispered below the ear shot of the reporter. In less than a minute, Lady Face was on her knees in tears. She reached for the edge of Brice’s cape to blow her nose. With disgust, Brice motioned for the authorities and moments later, Lady Face was escorted away. What the hell did he say to her? I wanted to see him get his ass beat!

Thursday, June 19, 2008


For the last few days, all I thought about was Dispatch’s idiotic decision that Brice and I be on the same team. Pure bullshit! Not to mention the guy hasn't even been around for the last few weeks. He's completely dropped off the radar. I think Terra said she'd seen him a few times at the office, but all that that means is he still has to pay rent. You can turn your back on citizens who need you, but you can’t turn your back on the landlord. Some team player he turned out to be.

Aside from Brice, there is also Sha'Donna, Graig, Cheryl and Marci. I don't really understand the line-up. From what Terra said, Brice is the leader of the team, because he is the most tactical – supposedly the thinker. Craig has the stealth, on account of the whole water thing and Cheryl and Sha'Donna are both second wave. I don't really understand how they could still be on active duty if they are both pregnant – but maybe Rico and Blair were wrong.

Marci was probably the best thing that happened to this team, aside from me. We represent the front line. The way she fights and shoots electricity is like watching dance. Her movements are hypnotic. Hell, the more I think about it, the team could have been just the two of us. But, no – that's not the case. We've got a guy who doesn't show up to save the world, a guy who plays in toilets and two ladies who could potentially give birth to multiple wet pets. This is the makings of a mess.

Monday, June 9, 2008


Dispatch called a meeting early Saturday morning. The topic was about some eminent threat – something we’ve never faced before. I think somewhere in the superhero handbook, it says that you have to say things like that. Every villain is viewed as some life-changing (or ending) threat. That’s pretty much all he said in the message. No details. Just come to the meeting because I (Dispatch) said so. I (Dispatch) will tell you what it's about when you get here.

Tough luck son, Leroy ain’t gonna be there. Instead, I’m going to fix a bowl of Apple Jacks and see what Saturday Morning Cartoons are on.

Somewhere around 9:30 in the morning, my phone rang. Router was on the other line asking where I was.

“I’m not coming Router.” I focused on watching the WB.

“Dude, this is a big meeting. Everyone is here.” Router pleaded.

“He could have just said it all in an e-mail or something.” I muted the television. “Look, I’m just not going to drop my life because Dispatch wants to share information he’s probably been holding for the last three months. When he realizes this is a team, I’ll act like it.” I turned the volume back up.

“I understand, Leroy. How about, I just put the phone on speaker, so you can hear everything while I’m in the meeting. It shouldn’t take long.” Router was persistent.

I agreed. Router was sincere, but he knew I felt screwed over when Dispatch suspended me for a small spat with Brice. That was just bull… and the fact that no one stood up to say that Dispatch was over reacting really let me know that our team ain’t so much a team. So, sure… I will listen over the phone – but I’m not getting up and heading down to the HQ just cause dispatch feels like sharing.

Over the next forty minutes, I endured a mesh of cartoons, Dispatch’s faint voice through Router’s cell phone and whatever breakfast meal that Router was eating. The rattling paper completely drowned Dispatch’s voice. And then there was the conversation that Blair and Rico were having about Cheryl being pregnant by Craig. Cheryl’s power is very animal based – letting her change into ferocious jungle cats. Craig, on the other hand turns into water. I don’t want to imagine that combination of a powers for their baby.

In all, the only thing I really heard was that some guy named Seth hates the Urban 30 and that we’d all be broken into smaller teams so that we are never alone. I couldn’t really tell who got paired up because Router apparently started choking on something he was eating and dropped his phone. The next seven minutes was all about Blair and Rico adding that Craig had also gotten Sha-Donna pregnant. Sha-Donna is into the animals too. But instead of changing herself into anything, she changes others in to animals – small puppies to be exact. I don’t know how she made it in the U-30.

So now, I’m wondering how Craig, a guy with no ambition – he only changes to water. He won't focus his power to learn to do ice, or control water or anything. Craig’s greatest thrill is becoming water, going through the pipes and coming out of your toilet to surprise you. After that, I never invited him to my house again. But yet, he’s got two girls pregnant within weeks of each other. Something is not right with the universe.

I finally just hung up the phone. I decided to call Terra later and get some details of the meeting.