Tuesday, January 29, 2008


I felt pretty good today. Surprisingly, I made it to work fairly early – and I was up to date with all of my work. The only thing missing was a Frozen Mocha Java Espresso Freeze Blast, made with love from my future wife. When I opened my e-mail and saw a mandatory meeting notice from Ms. DeVane, I figured the universe was apologizing for all the mean things it has done to me over the last few weeks. I locked my computer and headed over to the other building.

Now that my powers were no longer blocked, I felt the itch to tell somebody. Of course, the only person I could tell and it stay a secret would be Terra. Derrick was my first thought, but he’s as chatty as he is fast, so that secret wouldn’t live long with him. I called Terra and apparently she’d already planned to stop by the office. I followed up with a text message. Yo, I gotta tell you something when I see you! I just wanted to get her curiosity going.

Naturally, my first stop was the Mocha Bean Café. The place seemed pretty empty but as long as Candice was working, nothing else mattered. The little guy with the taped-rimmed glasses took my order and Candice came out from the back to prep for my drink. She was moving slower than usual, but still appeared to be in good spirits. I sat down at one of the tables and ate a huge cookie while I waited. I noticed they changed the type of music that they normally played. No more classical – this was more like throwbacks.

Just as I finished my cookie, Candice came over with my Frozen Mocha Java Espresso Freeze Blast.

“Haven’t seen you much, lately.” Her smile was so hypnotic.

I smiled back. “They moved me to another office building.” I wanted to tell her to marry me and she could see me every day. But then I though that may be too forward…

“Un-huh…” Her smiled turned sinister. “I’ll bet you like it, so you can talk to more women.”

“Excuse me?” I almost choked on my drink.

“Don’t act like you don’t have more than one girl friend.” She turned to walk away. I knew she was serious, but she wasn’t holding it against me. “I’ve seen you with the woman at Chuck’s and the woman you work with – we live in the same building.”

I had no excuse for Michelle, but the Terra thing was a rumor. “I think this is all a misunderstanding…” I didn’t know what else to say. She really caught me off guard.

“Time will tell...” She said as she disappeared into the back area.

I went upstairs to the office building, replaying the conversation in my head. For some reason, I didn’t get the feeling that she was upset – just teasing. When I got off the elevator on the 2nd floor, I took my first sip of my drink. WHAT! I lost my bearing for a second; this was the best cup of coffee ever. I had expected to take a sip and toss the rest, like the last few times. THIS COFFEE IS AMAZING. Maybe she put some crack in it?

I snapped back to reality when I saw Ron from procurement at the front desk. Apparently, the Cindy, the temp, had been working the desk all morning – and lost a package for him. She begged him to calm down and take a sip of the tea she’d just brewed in the coffee pot. I guess we can all expect a viscous rumor on her in the next day or two.

At Terra’s office, I did more talking about how great my Frozen Mocha Java Espresso Freeze Blast was, that I didn’t say a word about having my powers back. I don’t think she paid attention, though. Terra was too busy fussing to herself about the faulty data that Malcolm had given when she arrived. I think Terra can take work too seriously.

Grabbing her arm, I pulled Terra from her distraction – but I still raved on about mine. I savored every sip. Before I could really admit to being able to use my powers again, we noticed a crowd forming at the entrance to the main conference room.

“Is anyone else getting fired?” I thought. This office had been full of surprises lately, I wondered what was next.

Just as we reached the entrance to the room, we were over whelmed with the smell of … well, …shit. Literally. My first instinct was to drop my drink and double over to hurl. But something in my subconscious changed all this. This was the first great cup of coffee from Candice. No way was I going to throw it away. I regained my composure and looked further to see what was going on.

There it was, the source. Lying in a fetal position, bathed in his own feces was Ron, from procurement. Wow. This is just a bit embarrassing. I stood there staring for about 5 minutes, drinking my Frozen Mocha Java Espresso Freeze Blast until it was finally gone. This was the best damn drink I’ve ever had. No lie.

Ms Grady rushed over to help Ron, pointing out she’d been a nurse in a past life. Maybe it was in a dream she’d had during one of the many naps she’d taken at work. Oh well. I dropped my cup in the trash and went to stand in the reception area with Cindy, to wait for Ms. DeVane.

Maybe the meeting will be cancelled. Maybe Ron should take a few days off from work.

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