Friday, May 30, 2008


As a result of MT getting knocked the f@ck out, the whole relaxing before work thing came to an end. He seemed to have caught the same thing that Tomieka had. I stayed at MT’s crib where is ex-wives all dropped by to make sure he was ok. Wife number 2 even brought him a new iPhone to help his mood while he recovers. I left just a little after 11:00 am.

Back home to change for work, I made it to the office around 1:00pm. I spent most of the day on Somewhere during the day, Jada called to offer those drinks she and Tomieka promised. On that note, I left work to change into something other than the shirt and tie I was wearing.

I arrived to Bar Louie at about 5:30pm – I was early. Since I don’t drink alone, I ordered the fried calamari and an unsweetened iced tea. I had planned on replacing the “unsweetened” with “long island” once everyone arrived. The server was particularly pleasant today. She smiled the entire time she took my order and came back four times before the food arrived, just to see if I was ok.

Somewhere around 6:00 pm, Tomieka and Jada strutted into the place. I think I stared a bit longer than friends should stare – but I can’t be the blame when there is that much cleavage and legs. These two are like the supermodels of superheroes. It’s unreal!

We started with a round of shots, then Jada insisted that we do another for MT. The third round I felt complete now that I had my Long Island Iced Tea in hand. In the middle of our conversation, I stopped to ask the girls how they came up with the superhero names, Raz and Tam.

“It sounds like a dessert at a restaurant.” I said, taking another drink.

“And we are just as sweet.” Raz said matter-of-factly. We all laughed and that became the official reason.

Somewhere during that third drink, Terra glides in looking like a kid who’d just got off punishment. After the next drink I started to lose track of time. Terra, Jada, Tomieka and I were laughing about some new super villain team that’s just forming. Apparently the Vengeful Gnats still try to make a name for themselves with pasted insect wings. I don’t know how they manage to keep increasing their numbers, but they are often chaotic. We’ve all fought them and each time, they swarm around like they don’t know what to do next. Jada, Tomieka and I stopped them from robbing a bank once. They’d got in, got the money and instead of leaving, they ran around in circles. A few of them either bumped into each other, or tripped and money began flailing in the air. That was an annoying fight.

Just as we finished our trip down memory lane, I spotted a nice young lady sitting with two others. Perhaps it was the last drop of that second long island I’d just finished, but I decided to go over and speak.

She saw me coming over. I smiled and introduced myself. My first instinct was to buy them all drinks – but I wasn’t ready to buy all three of them "top shelf". When she responded, she belched, then giggled with her friends. Hm. I think she’s drunk.

She finally introduced herself and her friends. They all laughed again. One of them complimented me. That was a bit awkward since I only wanted to know her friend.

“Are you ladies from the area.” I asked them all, but only looked at one.

The wrong one answered. “We all just got breast enhancements 2 weeks ago.” If you didn't know, they started giggling again.

The third girl finally spoke, still not the one I want. "Can you believe we are all damaged goods. Our boyfriends all broke up with us today. It's like we are twins - but three of us!" There was that awkward feeling again. I decided to return to my friends, they weren't nearly as pretty as the other damaged girls.

I got back to the table completely unaware of the bar fight that had just started. I was actually hoping to catch the server for another drink. Not that I cared but I did ask Terra, what’s wrong with your boy. Apparently her friend from another planet decided to make an appearance tonight. I think he’s killing my buzz.

“He’s delusional…” Terra responded. “He’ll get over it.” Just as my fresh glass arrived, Terra leaned in to add. “I’m meeting with Dispatch at midnight.” I pretended I didn’t hear her.

At the close of the evening, I realized I had lost track of time and the number of drinks that I’d had. Terra was gone and her friend was getting arrested by the police, and the three girls with sextuplet boobs kept stalking me with their eyes. I think it’s time to go home.