WHAT DID WE SAY ABOUT CELL PHONES AND SUPERHEROES?

I had decided to make it a late morning at work today. I woke up and just wasn’t ready to face the day. I shot an e-mail to my boss and the receptionist – I knew there wouldn’t be an issue since there were no meetings or deadlines today.

Since I was up, though, I turned the television on. Whenever I don’t rush into the office, I watch Fox Morning News to keep up with all the current events that I usually try not to keep up with. I was halfway through my bowl of Applejacks when I noticed the Breaking News alert. Of course I put my bowl down, thinking this was a chance for Sonus to get some press time – though I would be slightly peeved that I couldn't finish my cereal.

Just as I stood up to get changed, I lagged a bit to see exactly what the problem was, I received a text through my cell phone.

Hey Leroy, I just saw the fox news lady. I think I’m going to be on tv.

Just as I read it, I heard the news reporter confirm Mack Truck is on the scene. It looks like this will be resolved quickly.

WTF! How does MT always get press time? When I’m fighting the bad guys, there is NEVER a reporter around – NEVER a news camera. This just isn’t fair. Just for the sake of the cameras, I started to suit up and go down there. Even if I didn’t have to do anything, just show presence.

I watched the live feed on the news. Whenever the news catches a moment like this, it takes over all of the channels. Then the fight ends up on YouTube. MT (we stopped saying Mack Truck cause it was just awkward, but he won't change his name) was fighting the Iguana Man. Iguana Man was some wannabe scientist who thought it would be a great idea to combine humans with animals in an effort to preserve both. Whatever. Initially, Iguana Man wanted to merge himself with some bird– something about them being natual predators and survivors. However, his kid replaced the selected bird of prey with a pet iguana. Now he has a creepy third eye and spikes from the base of his neck to both heels. He'd be a joke if not for the steroids he takes for strength. I guess that was an add-on when he decided to become a villain. I would have just beat the crap out of my kid for turning me into a scaley lizard with too much skin under my chin.

The reporter narrated the fight. MT smacked Iguana Man through a store front window. Then he stops to pull out his phone. A minute later, I got another text message.

Hey Leroy, are you watching. This guy is no match for me, lol.

MT put the phone away then grabbed Iguana Man and pounded him in the ground three times. Then grabbed his cell for another text.

This guy is nothing, even you could take him out.

I found myself resenting the comment. I replied to his message. You and Iguana Man fight like girls. I chuckled as I sent it.

I watched on television as MT opened his phone and read the message. He laughed so hard he started coughing... a little too much? MT coughed so much that he didn’t notice Iguana Man get back up and hit him from behind with a pole. Maybe I shouldn’t have sent that text message?

Iguana Man struck MT with the pole a few more times. The newswoman was raving. Then suddenly, Iguana Man dropped the pole, stumbled back and doubled over in pain. The camera zoomed in and we witnessed some sort of wings grow out his back. Ew! Iguana Man flew away.

A minute later and the shock was gone, I suited up and flew to see how MT was doing.