HOUSEKEEPER WITH BENEFITS

I climbed through the window and smirked as I made my way to the kitchen. Terra hadn't even bothered to introduce her guests– not that I really cared; I wasn't looking forward to ever seeing them again. Reaching in the 'fridge, I grabbed a juice box and devoured it before grabbing three more. Terra always bought things in bulk, so I didn’t think she would mind. Hell, now that I thought about it, these things are kid-sized, she should understand my need to have more than one. I drank one more before closing the fridge, still with 3 in hand. I was incredibly thirsty.

When I came out of the kitchen, I noticed the old guy was gone. That left one mystery guest who seemingly sneered at me. I grinned and inhaled the remaining three juice boxes. I suddenly realized that just maybe, I should have stopped at juice box number four. Too late to cry about it now…

We left Terra's apartment, back through the window. Her guest complained why we would try to be so discreet. Maybe he was new to the superhero game? As we flew to 8th and H Street, NE, I was more focused on if my stomach was poking out too much in my costume. You know that feeling you get when you drank too much water at one sitting. I also noticed Terra's lil man-friend giving me the “side eye”. He and I may need to have a chat about this quiet disrespect he has for me.

I turned my attention from dude when I heard Terra catching an attitude with some woman in one of the row houses. I looked back to Terra's friend and suddenly wanted to hit him. Terra forced her way inside and I followed right behind. For some reason, I wanted to assume this woman was the maid. I had absolutely no foundation for it. It was just the first thing that popped into my head. But whoever she was, she was dressed really nice - very easy on the eyes. I think I stared at her legs two seconds too long. Maybe she didn’t notice?

The inside of the house was laid, very modern. This was a man’s heaven with all the electronics. I quickly grabbed the remote to see what kind of channels this television could get. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was a maid for hire and if she was cheap labor - to come and clean my apartment.

I still wondered who lived here. Assuming Terra believes that her husband and kid was here, maybe this was an in-law. But the could-be maid was so nice to look at, and had no resemblance to Terra's Ex. Yep, she's got to be the maid.

Oh snap! I just remembered that Christopher was loaded. Maybe this is one of the houses that Terra couldn't get when they divorced. Wow! I should ask the maid if she will give me this television. Christopher was going back to jail, he wouldn't need it.

I looked over from the television to see that Terra’s friend was doing some sort of electric cage thing that pinned the housekeeper to the wall. It was that moment that I noticed that he had a pony-tail. I don’t think this guy is from around here. The worst part was that his power was not only damaging the walls but messing with the satellite television too. Somehow the television was also connected to security cameras in and around the house – I knew this when the channel kept changing and I saw Terra on the screen trashing the rooms upstairs. Curiously, I pushed play on the DVD player and caught a glimpse of a very "adult" video. Shame on our house-keeper… I'm all for a wild chick, but this gal ain't got no morals.

Terra stormed downstairs and preceded to man-handle the super-hot porn vixen / maid. Another reality for today was that Terra was quite dramatic.

"This is the last time I'm going to ask you. Where is he?" The way I see it, smack the chick around. Then she will talk.

Oh damn! I just had a better idea. "Wait a minute, Terra." I interrupted Terra’s scary moment.

Stepping between Terra and the housekeeper-with-benefits, I whispered so that Terra couldn’t hear me. I know your secret. The maid held her breath.

I mean, I get it. It’s a classic scenario, maid comes in to clean the house, gives the guy a freaky fantasy type screw and then collects a fat check. You can't knock the hustle. I mean, this chick is hot. She’s probably got dozens of clients and lives like a celebrity. I’m sure she doesn’t want to leave here looking like one of those grimey dirt monsters from Lord of the Rings. I leaned in closer to the maid. She smelled funny. Still in a whisper... She’s got this tentacle thing when she gets mad. She will rip you apart slowly and eat your limbs piece by piece. Lots of pain.

The maid whispered back to me. Even though I think she pee’d her pants, she really was a nice looking woman. She should have been his assistant, not just the maid.

I looked over to Terra. “Basement…” This was the second time today I realized the old guy was missing. What’s his deal?

I kicked through the hidden door to the basement, then turned back to the terrified sex saleswoman. I smiled and nodded to her for her assistance and mentally hoped she would get her act together. Then I turned to head down the stairs. Of course pony-tail guy was pressed to go first. I should push him…