SATURDAY MORNINGS ARE FOR CARTOONS

Dispatch called a meeting early Saturday morning. The topic was about some eminent threat – something we’ve never faced before. I think somewhere in the superhero handbook, it says that you have to say things like that. Every villain is viewed as some life-changing (or ending) threat. That’s pretty much all he said in the message. No details. Just come to the meeting because I (Dispatch) said so. I (Dispatch) will tell you what it's about when you get here.

Tough luck son, Leroy ain’t gonna be there. Instead, I’m going to fix a bowl of Apple Jacks and see what Saturday Morning Cartoons are on.

Somewhere around 9:30 in the morning, my phone rang. Router was on the other line asking where I was.

“I’m not coming Router.” I focused on watching the WB.

“Dude, this is a big meeting. Everyone is here.” Router pleaded.

“He could have just said it all in an e-mail or something.” I muted the television. “Look, I’m just not going to drop my life because Dispatch wants to share information he’s probably been holding for the last three months. When he realizes this is a team, I’ll act like it.” I turned the volume back up.

“I understand, Leroy. How about, I just put the phone on speaker, so you can hear everything while I’m in the meeting. It shouldn’t take long.” Router was persistent.


I agreed. Router was sincere, but he knew I felt screwed over when Dispatch suspended me for a small spat with Brice. That was just bull… and the fact that no one stood up to say that Dispatch was over reacting really let me know that our team ain’t so much a team. So, sure… I will listen over the phone – but I’m not getting up and heading down to the HQ just cause dispatch feels like sharing.

Over the next forty minutes, I endured a mesh of cartoons, Dispatch’s faint voice through Router’s cell phone and whatever breakfast meal that Router was eating. The rattling paper completely drowned Dispatch’s voice. And then there was the conversation that Blair and Rico were having about Cheryl being pregnant by Craig. Cheryl’s power is very animal based – letting her change into ferocious jungle cats. Craig, on the other hand turns into water. I don’t want to imagine that combination of a powers for their baby.

In all, the only thing I really heard was that some guy named Seth hates the Urban 30 and that we’d all be broken into smaller teams so that we are never alone. I couldn’t really tell who got paired up because Router apparently started choking on something he was eating and dropped his phone. The next seven minutes was all about Blair and Rico adding that Craig had also gotten Sha-Donna pregnant. Sha-Donna is into the animals too. But instead of changing herself into anything, she changes others in to animals – small puppies to be exact. I don’t know how she made it in the U-30.

So now, I’m wondering how Craig, a guy with no ambition – he only changes to water. He won't focus his power to learn to do ice, or control water or anything. Craig’s greatest thrill is becoming water, going through the pipes and coming out of your toilet to surprise you. After that, I never invited him to my house again. But yet, he’s got two girls pregnant within weeks of each other. Something is not right with the universe.

I finally just hung up the phone. I decided to call Terra later and get some details of the meeting.